The Rip Van Winkle Caper
The Rip Van Winkle Caper [1959]
Rod Serling (1924-1975)
VOCABULARY
bewildered: (adj) confused
bullion: (n) a precious metal in bulk form, often in the shape of a bar
culmination: (n) a final climactic stage
contrail: (n) an artificial cloud created by an aircraft
coverall: (n) a loose-fitting protective garment that is worn over other clothing
Cosmoline: (n) a petroleum-based jelly used for corrosion-preventing
Croesus: (n) an ancient king who was noted for his great wealth
Death Valley: (n) a desert valley spanning eastern California and western Nevada, and noted as the hottest and driest area of North America
dismissive: (adj) showing indifference or disregard
hand truck: (n) a handcart that has a frame with two low wheels and a ledge at the bottom and handles at the top; used to move crates or other heavy objects
entrepreneur: (n) someone who organizes a business venture and assumes the risk for it
fence: (n) a dealer in stolen property
flotsam: (n) the floating wreckage of a ship
Fort Knox: (n) a military base in Kentucky where the U.S. government keeps most of its gold
grimace: (v) to make an expression of pain or strong dislike, in which the face twists in an ugly way
hasten: (v) move fast
maldito vidrio: (Spanish phrase) damn glass
Midas: (n) in classical mythology, a greedy king who was given the power to turn everything he touched into gold
noxious: (adj) harmful
off his rocker: (idiom) crazy
outcroping: (n) a large rock or group of rocks that sticks out of the ground
pièce de résistance: (French phrase): the best and most important or exciting thing, often the last in a series of things
quizzically: (adv) in a questioning manner
Rip Van Winkle: (n) the title character in a story by Washington Irving about a man who sleeps for 20 years and doesn't recognize the world when he wakens; figuratively, a person who sleeps a lot or a person oblivious to social change
LITERARY ELEMENTS
parable: a short simple story which teaches or explains an idea, especially a moral or religious idea
poetic justice: a literary device in which virtue is ultimately rewarded or vice punished, often in modern literature by an ironic twist of fate intimately related to the character's own conduct
situational irony: irony that occurs when the actions taken have an effect exactly opposite from what was intended
NARRATOR
DE CRUZ
FARWELL
BROOKS
ERBIE
MAN
WOMAN
TWILIGHT ZONE THEME
NARRATOR: You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind--a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead. Your next stop, the Twilight Zone.
[Opening scene: Daytime. A moving truck is speeding along a dirt road in the desert. The truck is followed by a sedan. Both vehicles stop before a rock outcroping and two men exit from each vehicle. Each is wearing a coverall. On the back of their coveralls is the same inscription that is on the side of the the moving truck: Jones Van & Storage. They open the side of the truck, lower a hand truck, and begin loading it.]
FARWELL: Good work, gentlemen.
ERBIE: Apples in the barrel.
BROOKS: Yeah, so far, but we ain't spent anything yet.
DE CRUZ: Yeah, you know Brooks is right. One million worth of gold bullion, and I'm still wearing coveralls, and I got $1.20 in my pocket.
FARWELL: (waving a finger) That's this year, Senor De Cruz. Today, this, but tomorrow... tomorrow, gentlemen... like Croesus, Midas--and all rolled into one.
BROOKS: Man, you see that train engineer when he hit them brakes? He looked like he thought the world was coming to an end.
DE CRUZ: (laughing) Why not? When I blow up tracks, I blow up tracks.
BROOKS: (sarcastically) Point out a foundry for me, De Cruz, I'll forge you a medal.
DE CRUZ: (annoyed) Oh, come on, come on, look out, look out. Get out of the way. (confronting Brooks aggressively) What's your trouble, Brooks?
FARWELL: May we get to business now? Let's get the carts and start unloading.
DE CRUZ: (hoisting a bag from the truck and struggling with Brooks over it) Come on, come on. Down.
BROOKS: (producing a bar of gold from the bag and addressing it) Oh, man, you're a heavy little thing. Are there any more at home like you?
FARWELL: All right, gentlemen, procedure as follows: The gold in the cave. Then Mr. De Cruz will destroy the vehicles.
DE CRUZ: (tapping Brooks) Okay, buddy boy, let's go.
[Next scene: The men enter a cave with a hand truck laden with sacks of gold bars. Farwell guides their way with a lantern. As the men unload the sacks, Farwell sets aside the lantern and approaches one of several glass casket lying on the cave floor.]
FARWELL: The pièce de résistance now...the real culmination...ultimate ingenuity. It is one thing, gentlemen, to stop a train on its way from Fort Knox to Los Angeles and steal its cargo. It's another thing to remain free to spend it. And spend it we shall.
DE CRUZ: Yeah, but when?
FARWELL: Don't you know, Mr. De Cruz? I would have thought that this aspect of the plan would be particularly clear in your mind.
[De Cruz approaches one of the glass caskets and grips its edges.]
DE CRUZ: (sighs) Maldito vidrio. Rip Van Winkle. That's what we are. Four Rip Van Winkles... I'm not sure.
FARWELL: What are you not sure of, Mr. De Cruz?
DE CRUZ: Just... lying down in one of these...these glass caskets and getting put to sleep. I like to know what I'm doing.
FARWELL: (annoyed) You know what you're doing--I've explained it very precisely to you: All four of us will be placed in a state of suspended animation, and when we wake up, that's when we'll take our gold and enjoy it.
DE CRUZ: (turning to Brooks and Erbie) I say everybody takes his cut now and takes his own chances.
[Brooks draws a knife and points it at De Cruz threateningly.]
BROOKS: What you say, De Cruz--but that ain't what we agreed on. We agreed we'd stash the gold here and then do whatever Farwell tells us to do. So far he ain't been wrong--not about anything: the train, the gold...gas he used to put a whole trainload of people to sleep--everything. All we had to do was step over a lot of horizontal folks snoring. Transfer a fortune like it was cotton candy.
ERBIE: Amen to that.
DE CRUZ: Amen to that, sure. But (pointing to one of the glass coffins) how about to this? None of you mind being helpless and... closed up in these?
BROOKS: No, Mr. De Cuz. None of us mind.
SUSPENSE
DE CRUZ: How long, Farwell?
FARWELL: How long? I don't know exactly. I can only surmise. I would say that...I would say approximately 100 years from today's date. One hundred years, gentlemen, and we shall walk the earth again...as rich men, however...as extremely rich men.
DE CRUZ: One hundred years. (peering into a casket) Just like Rip Van Winkle.
NARRATOR: Introducing four experts in the questionable art of crime: Mr. Farwell, expert on noxious gases, former professor with a doctorate in both chemistry and physics; Mr. Erbie, expert in mechanical engineering; Mr. Brooks, expert in the use of firearms and other weaponry; and Mr. De Cruz, expert in demolition and various forms of destruction. The time is now and the place is a mountain cave in Death Valley, U.S.A. In just a moment these four men will utilize the services of a truck placed in Cosmoline loaded with a hot heist, cooled off by a century of sleep and then take a drive into the Twilight Zone.
SUSPENSE
[Next scene: Each of the men is lying in a closed glass casket. Holding a microphone, Farwell broadcasts their instructions.]
FARWELL: All right, gentlemen. First of all, I want to know if you can hear me...Knock once on the side as I call your name. De Cruz? (De Cruz knocks) Brooks? (Brooks knocks) Erbie? (Erbie knocks) Now I'm going to give you, in chronology, precisely what will happen. First, you are to check your airlocks located on your right. See it there? The red arrow should be pointed toward "closed and locked." Now you are each to count ten, very slowly. When you come to the end of the count, reach down with your left hand, there's a small green button there. See it? You are to press this button. You will hear a slight hissing sound. This will be the gas being measured into the enclosures. All right, gentlemen, check your airlocks first. Now begin to count and on ten, release the gas.
[Each man counts down and presses a button within his casket. A thick gas enters each casket.]
HISSING SOUND
FARWELL: Good night, gentlemen. Pleasant dreams. Good sleep. I'll see you in the next century. Next...century....
[Next scene: Farwell, De Cruz, and Brooks, slowly emerge from their glass caskets.]
DE CRUZ: (feeling his face and examining his hands) It didn't work. It didn't--We don't have any beards, and our nails didn't grow. (sarcastically) Well, Mr. Farwell, with the big brain and all the answers, why didn't it work?
FARWELL: It must have worked. It was foolproof. All the body functions stopped. There wouldn't be any growth of beard or nails or anything else! I tell you, it worked.
[De Cruz and Brooks rush to the cave's secret entrance. Opening the door, they squint at the nearby landscape.]
DE CRUZ: Well, look. The road's still there. It hasn't changed. It hasn't changed one bit! Carajo! (irate, he turns towards Farwell) Mastermind, big brain. Instead of a hundred years, maybe it's an hour, and so we're still hot. And all that gold in there is just like a lot garbage to us now because everybody and his brother is going to be looking for it.
FARWELL: Erbie. We forgot Erbie!
[Farwell, De Cruz, and Brooks hasten to Erbie's glass casket. A large stone lies on its shattered lid. Inside the casket is a human skeleton.]
SUSPENSE
FARWELL: (picking up the stone) This is what did it. (looking up) Must have fallen from the top of the cave, cracked the glass, the gas escaped. (tossing the rock aside) Mr. Erbie has proven my point, however, gentlemen. He's definitely proven my point...the hard way.
DE CRUZ: How... how long would it take for such a thing to happen?
FARWELL: A year, or a hundred years. Chances are, Mr. De Cruz, that we're now in the year 2061.
DE CRUZ: Two thousand sixty...wow. Okay. Now the next step, huh? We load the gold into the truck and take it to the first city we get to, huh? And then we take it to a fence or melt it down ourselves in some way. That's the deal, isn't it?
FARWELL: (coldly) Why is it, Mr. De Cruz, that greedy men are the most dreamless, least imaginative, the stupidest?
DE CRUZ: Now, listen to me, Farwell--
FARWELL: For the first time in history we have taken a century and put it in our hip pocket. We've taken a lease on life and outlived our stay. We've had our cake but we're still going to eat. That's quite an adventure out there, Mr. De Cruz, though you're a little insensitive to it.
It's a world we've never seen before--a brand-new, exciting world that we are going to walk through.
DE CRUZ: (hurrying to a stack of gold bars and lifting up a bar.) But with gold, Farwell. With a million bucks worth of gold. That's how we're going to walk through it.
FARWELL: (dismissive) Of course. (pauses) I wonder...what kind of a world?
SUSPENSE
[Next scene: De Cruz exits a car, slams its door, and approaches Brooks and Farwell.]
DE CRUZ: We all loaded up?
FARWELL: All loaded.
DE CRUZ: Okay, let's pull out. Brooks, you drive. I'll hop in the back and make sure the gold doesn't fall off.
BROOKS: Well, aren't you the most thoughtful little thing that ever come down the pike?
DE CRUZ: What's the matter?
BROOKS: You stay in back and watch the gold, huh? De Cruz, I wouldn't trust you with gold if it was filling in your own mother's tooth. No, buddy boy, you drive. I'll check the back.
DE CRUZ: Well, okay.
BROOKS: Okay, amigo. (to Farwell) Where's the water can? We might as well get that loaded.
FARWELL: Over there where we buried Erbie.
[As Brooks approaches the water can, De Cruz gets into the car. He starts the engine and floors the accelerator. As Brooks lifts the water can, he spots the car barreling towards him but he is too late evade it. De Cruz rams the car into Brooks who is sent crashing to the ground. Next, De Cruz flings himself from the car which drives off the edge of a cliff and crashes into a canyon below. Rising to his feet, De Cruz walks to the edge of the cliff to inspect the wreck. Farwell runs after him.]
FARWELL: De Cruz!
DE CRUZ: Mr. Brooks had a very bad accident.
FARWELL: I keep underestimating you, Mr. De Cruz.
DE CRUZ: Yeah, well, we'll do it my way now. We'll pack as much as we can, put them in two knapsacks, and hit the road.
FARWELL: (studying the wrecked car) I can't think of any other alternative at the moment.
[Next scene: Farwell and De Cruz are trudging along a desolate highway in Death Valley. Both men grimace under knapsacks heavily weighted with gold bars.]
FARWELL: (exhausted) Hold it, De Cruz, hold it. I've... got to rest.
[Farwell slumps to the side of the road and sets down his knapsack.]
DE CRUZ: (kneeling next to Farwell) How we doing, Farwell?
FARWELL: The map said... the map said 28 miles to the next town. At this rate, we won't reach it till tomorrow afternoon--
DE CRUZ: At this rate, you'll never reach it.
[De Cruz sits next to Farwell and they both study the long stretch of empty highway.]
FARWELL: There hasn't been a car, not a single car. What if...?
DE CRUZ: "What if" what?
FARWELL: What if there were a war? What if they dropped a bomb? What if this highway stretched to...
DE CRUZ: stretched to what?
FARWELL: Stretched to nothing, Mr. De Cruz? Stretched to nothing at all? Wouldn't it be the irony of all ironies--walk... till our hearts burst carrying all this gold?
[De Cruz hears a distant roar and looks up to a clear-blue sky notched by the contrails of three aircraft.]
DE CRUZ: (laughing) There's a world left, Farwell, (pointing upwards) and that proves it. That means there's a town up ahead. We're going to make it, buddy. We're going to make it! Come on. Let's get going.
[De Cruz rises to his feet and drinks from his canteen. Farwell reaches for his canteen and discovers it is missing.]
FARWELL: My canteen is gone. I must have left it back on the road the last place we stopped. I haven't any water.
DE CRUZ: Water? Oh, I believe there's some water around here you could drink. (looks about quizzically and then stares at his canteen) Let's see, uh...oh, here's some water. One drink, one bar of gold. That's the price.
FARWELL: You're out of your mind.
DE CRUZ: That's the price. (forcefully) One drink, one bar of gold.
FARWELL: I keep underrating you, Mr. De Cruz. You're quite an entrepreneur.
DE CRUZ: Ain't it the truth.
[Farwell offers a bar and gold and De Cruz offers his canteen in exchange. Farwell attempts to drink heavily but the canteen is withdrawn by De Cruz, leaving Farwell with only a small sip.]
DE CRUZ: One drink, one bar of gold. That's the going rate today, Mr. Farwell. It may change tomorrow--I haven't checked the market--but for today it's one for one. Let's go, Mr. Farwell.
[De Cruz picks up his knapsack and continues along the highway.]
SUSPENSE
[Next scene: Both men, now soaked in sweat, are still trudging along the highway. Farwell exchanges another gold bar for a drink of water.]
[Next scene: The sun is now high in the sky. Farwell, who looks increasingly fatigued, exchanges another gold bar for a drink of water.]
[Next scene: Farwell, unable to keep pace with De Cruz, is lagging behind. De Cruz waits for him.]
DE CRUZ: What's the matter? You pooped already? You had a good night's sleep, and we've only been on the road a couple hours.
FARWELL: (weakly) Stop... must stop. Must have water, De Cruz. Must have water.
DE CRUZ: Well, all right, Farwell. I got about a quarter of a canteen left.
[De Cruz takes out his canteen and drinks from it.]
FARWELL: Please, De Cruz. Please, De Cruz.
DE CRUZ: Mr. Farwell, the rate of exchange has gone up a little bit today. It's two bars of gold for one swallow.
FARWELL: Water, please.
[Farwell shrugs off his gold-laden knapsack and hunches to the ground. He produces two bars of gold and drops one at the feet of De Cruz. De Cruz hands Farwell his canteen in return and Farwell drinks greedily. As De Cruz stoops to pick up the gold, Farwell, still holding the second bar, repeatedly bashes De Cruz over the head with it.]
SUSPENSE
[De Cruz slumps into the sand. Exhausted, Farwell begins to laugh, and then weep.]
SUSPENSE
[Next scene: Farwell is stumbling along the same sun-baked road. He drops a bar of gold but proceeds on without retrieving it.]
[Next scene:Farwell is lying on the side of the road, still clutching a bar of gold. A man approaches him.]
FARWELL: (weakly) Mister... mister... this is gold here. (offering a bar of gold) You can have it. Drive me to town. If you give me water... (weeping) gold...it's real gold. You can have it. I'll give it to you. I'll... give it to you.
[Farwell suddenly stills and his arms fall to his sides. The man knells beside Farwell and listens for a heartbeat.]
MAN: Poor old fella. Poor old fella. I wonder where you came from.
[Rising, the man shakes his head and picks up the bar of gold. He walks backs towards a futuristic automobile. Inside the automobile, a female passenger is waiting.]
WOMAN: Who is it, George? What's the matter with him?
MAN: Some old tramp. That's what he was. He's dead.
WOMAN: What's that?
[The man hands her the bar of gold. The woman inspects it bewilderingly.]
MAN: Gold--that's what he said it was. He wanted to give it to me in exchange for a lift into town.
WOMAN: Gold? Now, what in the world would he be doing with this gold?
MAN: I don't know, he was probably off his rocker. (retrieving the bar of gold) Anybody walking in the desert this time of day would be off his rocker. (studying the gold) Can you imagine that? He offered this to me as if it was really worth something.
WOMAN: You know, wasn't it worth something once, George? I mean, didn't people use gold for money?
MAN: Sure, about a hundred years or so ago, before they found a way of manufacturing it.
[The man tosses the bar of gold to the side of the road and gets into the car.]
MAN: When we get back into town, we'll have the police come out and pick him up.
NARRATOR: The last of four Rip Van Winkles who all died precisely the way they lived: chasing an idol across the sand to wind up bleached dry in the hot sun as so much desert flotsam, worthless as the gold bullion they built a shrine to--tonight's lesson in the Twilight Zone.
TWILIGHT ZONE THEME