Urban Legends
1. Super Granny--Defender of Justice
In December 1966, a lady from northeast Georgia called her sister in Atlanta to ask if it would be safe to come to Atlanta to shop at a major shopping mall. Her sister assured her she would be entirely safe.
The shopper came to the city, but "just in case," she brought her six-inch.38-caliber revolver with her in her handbag. She arrived safely and shopped all day. Around dusk, she walked into the parking lot, carrying her bags and packages. As she approached her car, she noticed two men sitting in it. She carefully put her bags on the ground, pointed a finger and shouted, "You men get out of my car!" Nothing happened.
She again pointed her finger and shouted, "You men get out of my car." Nothing happened. She then opened her pocketbook, took out her .38-caliber revolver with the six-inch barrel, pointed it at the men and shouted, "You men, I've told you twice to get out of my car. Get out, and I mean right now!" This time the doors flew open and the two men ran like jackrabbits.
The lady put her pistol in her purse, retrieved her packages, placed them in the back seat of the car, and got behind the wheel. She locked the doors and put her key in the ignition. It would not turn. Suddenly, she realized that she was not in her car.
She looked around to see if anyone was watching, carefully opened the door and walked to her car, which was parked about four spaces away. Again, she loaded her packages, locked the door and began to leave the parking lot.
As she was leaving, she noticed several security guards and honked and waved to get their attention. She called out to them, "I need to tell you nice men about something that happened to me."
One of the guards replied, "Lady, we don't have time to chat. There's a little old lady with a pistol out in the parking lot hijacking cars!"
She rolled up her window and drove home. Once safely at home, she called her sister and reported what had happened. She ended by saying, ". . . and I don't want you to worry. I won't shop there ever again!"
2. Blew Moon
Granddaughter was cleaning the tool shed when she came across a partly used gallon can of gasoline. The family was of meager means, so she thought that it would be a thrifty thing if she could find some use for the gasoline. There was no car in the family, but there were many things which could be cleaned by gas. Granddaughter decided to clean the privy.
She scrubbed the walls, the door; the dessus de toilette. Everything was spick and span.
No sooner had Granddaughter finished than Grandpappy came down the path toward the privy. His glasses were perched on his nose, his pipe was cocked in his mouth, and a copy of Playboy was tucked firmly under his arm. Just before he entered, he struck a match to light his pipe. A deafening explosion filled the air.
Granddaughter rushed to the scene. The privy door was blown off. The walls were blackened and shattered. She found Grandpappy sprawled in a clump of bushes about fifty feet from the site of the explosion. His glasses hung from one ear, a pipe stem drooped from his mouth and the book, torn and battered, was still tucked under his arm.
"Grandpappy," she screamed, "what happened?"
"I dunno, Granddaughter," he replied, "it musta been somethin' I et."
3. Checkout Rout
A young man is shopping in a supermarket when he notices that an older woman seems to be following him, staring at him in a sorrowful manner. He moves to the next aisle, trying to avoid her, but she follows, still staring.
And when he finishes shopping, he ends up behind her in a long checkout line. Her grocery basket is full to overflowing; his contains just a few items.
She keeps staring at him sadly, making him feel most uncomfortable.
Finally she speaks up. "Pardon my staring," she says, "but you look exactly like my son, who died just two weeks ago."
And she begins to sniffle as she repeats her claim that the young man perfectly resembles her late, beloved son. "I mean, exactly like him," she moans.
Then, as the cashier bags her groceries at the front of the line, the woman asks: "As a favor to a grief-stricken mother, would you mind saying 'Goodbye, Mom' to me as I leave? Somehow, it would make me feel so much better."
The young man gulps and agrees to her request. She gives him a tearful smile, waves and picks up her three heavy bags.
"Goodbye, Mom!" he says, waving back.
All the scene needs now to make it a perfect melodrama is violins welling up in the background or maybe a little supermarket Muzak.
The young man, reflecting on his good deed, feels such a warm glow of self-satisfaction that he barely notices the cashier ringing up his own few purchases. Until, that is, the cashier tells him that the bill comes to $110.
"There must be a mistake," the young man says, pointing at his single small bag.
"Your mother said you'd be paying for hers too," the cashier says.
4. A Slight Case of Laundricide
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. (Nov. 13) -- A 39-year-old Charlottesville man died Thursday in a freak accident involving his washing machine. According to police reports, Samuel Randolph Strickson was doing laundry when he tried to speed up the process. Strickson apparently tried to stuff approximately 50 pounds of laundry into his washing machine by climbing on top of the washer and attempting to force the clothing into the basin. Strickson then apparently accidentally kicked the washing machine's ON button. When the machine turned on, Strickson lost his balance and both feet went down into the machine, where they got stuck. The machine started its cycle, and Strickson, unable to free himself, started thrashing around as the machine's agitator went into gear. Strickson's head banged against a nearby shelf the laundry room, knocking over a bottle of bleach, which poured over Strickson's face, blinding him.
Forensic reports say Strickson apparently also swallowed some of the bleach. He then vomited, but was still unable to free himself. Strickson's dog then apparently came into the laundry room. At about the same time, according to police, a large box of baking soda fell from the shelf, startling the dog, which then urinated. Urine, like vinegar, is acidic, and the chemical reaction between the urine and the baking soda resulted in "a small explosion," according to police reports. The dog, however, escaped unharmed. Strickson remained stuck in the washing machine, which eventually went into its high-speed spin cycle, spinning Strickson around at about 70 miles per hour, according to forensic experts. Strickson's head then smashed against a steel beam behind the washing machine, immediately killing him. A neighbor heard the commotion and called 911, but Strickson, a 1998 graduate of Virginia Tech, was pronounced dead at the scene.
5. Hillbilly Cannon
In rural Carbon County, PA, a group of men were drinking beer and discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home owned by Irving Michaels, age 27. The men were firing at a raccoon that was wandering by, but the beer apparently impaired their aim and, despite of the estimated 35 shots the group fired, the animal escaped into a 3 foot diameter drainage pipe some 100 feet away from Mr. Michaels' deck.
Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can of gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal out. After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels emptied the entire 5 gallon fuel can down the pipe and tried to ignite it again, to no avail. Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined Mr. Michaels proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15 feet down the sloping pipe to toss the match.
The subsequent rapidly expanding fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back the way he had come, though at a much higher rate of speed. He exited the angled pipe "like a Polaris missile leaves a submarine," according to witness Joseph McFadden, 31. Mr. Michaels was launched directly over his own home, right over the heads of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn. In all, he traveled over 200 feet through the air. "There was a Doppler Effect to his scream as he flew over us," McFadden reported, "Followed by a loud thud."
Amazingly, he suffered only minor injuries. "It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said, "Like when they shoot someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd do it again if I was sure I wouldn't get hurt."
6. Kidney Nicked
A TRUE STORY!
This guy who lived next door to Amy (my girlfriend) went out last Saturday night to a party. He was having a good time, had a couple of beers and some girl seemed to like him and invited him to go to another party. He quickly agreed and decided to go along with her. She took him to a party in some apartment and they continued to drink, and even got involved with some other drugs (unknown which). The next thing he knew, he woke up completely naked in a bathtub filled with ice. He was still feeling the effects of the drugs, but looked around to see he was alone.
He looked down at his chest, which had "CALL 911 OR YOU WILL DIE" written on it in lipstick. He saw a phone was on a stand next to the tub, so he picked it up and dialed. He explained to the EMS operator what the situation was and that he didn't know where he was, what he took, or why he was really calling. She advised him to get out of the tub. He did, and she asked him to look himself over in the mirror. He did, and appeared normal, so she told him to check his back. He did, only to find two 9 inch slits on his lower back. She told him to get back in the tub immediately, and they sent a rescue team over.
Apparently, after being examined, he found out more of what had happened. His kidneys were stolen. They are worth 10,000 dollars each on the black market. (I was unaware this even existed). Several guesses are in order: The second party was a sham, the people involved had to be at least medical students, and it was not just recreational drugs he was given.
Regardless, he is currently in the hospital on life support, awaiting a spare kidney.
7. Personnel Best
The owner of a big textile plant hired one of these so-called efficiency sharps to cut down waste, and speed production, and sew up the loose ends, and all the rest of it.
Filled with authority and importance, the expert on a certain morning, entered the factory. He had progressed through only one department when he came upon a spectacle which shocked his efficient being to its very core.
On a bench sat a languid-looking individual in overalls, busily engaged in sitting. Only the jaws of this person moved; he was masticating chewing-tobacco. Presently he bent forward and spat; then resumed his immobile pose.
With mounting indignation the expert watched him. Approaching with a springy tread, he fixed a sternly accusing eye upon the delinquent.
"See here, my man," he began snappily, "what do you think you are doing?"
"Me?" inquired the other. "I ain't doing nothin'."
"Well, what do you expect to do when you get through doing nothing?"
"Nothin'."
"Well, what have you been doing?"
"Nothin'."
"And how long have you been sitting here thus engaged?"
The latter yawned.
"Oh, 'bout an hour; maybe an hour and a half."
"Is that so? How much do you draw a week?"
"Twenty-four dollars."
"Well," said the expert, "we'll stop that part of it right now. When is your week up?"
"Tomorrow."
"You needn't wait until tomorrow ; you can go right now. Here!" The efficiency man reached into his pocket, hauled out his own private bank-roll, peeled off four fives and four ones and pressed the total into the hand of the overalled one, outstretched to receive the money. "Now get out of here and don't ever let me see you inside this plant again."
"Yes, sir" said the loafer. He arose, spat a farewell, and slouched out.
"I guess that's inaugurating a little rough and ready reform right at the jump," said the efficiency man to himself. He beckoned to the foreman of the department and the latter approached.
"Who is that fellow walking out of the door?" asked the expert.
"I don't know his name," said the foreman. "He's got some kind of a job at the foundry across the street."
8. Birthday Suited
I sat, enjoying my coffee, and I waited. Finally the kids came running in, yelling, "Give me a slice of toast! I'm late! And where is my coat! I'm going to miss the bus!" Feeling more depressed than ever I left for the office.
When I walked into the office my secretary greeted me with a nice smile and a "Happy birthday, Boss," and said, "I'll get you some coffee." Her remembering made me feel a lot better.
Later in the morning my secretary knocked on my office door and said, "Since it's your birthday, why don't we have lunch together?" Thinking it would make me feel better I said, "That's a good idea."
So we locked up the office and since it was my birthday I said, "Why don't we drive out of town and have lunch in the country instead of going to the usual place?" So we drove out of town and went to a little out-of-the-way place and had a couple of martinis and a nice lunch, and started driving back to town when my secretary said, "Why don't we go by my place, and I'll fix you another martini?"
It sounded like a good idea since we didn't have anything to do in the office anyway. So we went to her apartment and she fixed us both a martini and after a while she said, "If you will excuse me, I think I'll slip into something more comfortable," and she left the room. In six minutes she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday cake, and following her was my wife and all my kids, and there I sat with nothing on but my socks.
9.The Fart in the Dark
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love.
When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this" so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he phoned his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him.
Since he still had several miles to walk he thought he would walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he went in and ordered three extra large helpings of beans. All the way home he farted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another fart coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the phone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned and went to answer the phone.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better when another urge came on.
He raised his leg and rriiipppp! It sounded like a diesel engine revving and smelled worse. To keep himself from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next 10 minutes, farting and then fanning each time with his napkin.
When he heard the phone farewells (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled "SURPRISE!"
To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table.
10. It's a Boat Time
A true story ...
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, a blonde (of course!), new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22-ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied.
After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place was the trailer.
11. Donkey Hokey
A city boy in the Witness Protection Program moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."
"Well then, just give me my money back."
"Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
"Okay then. Just unload the donkey."
"What ya gonna do with him?"
"I'm going to raffle him off."
"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with the city boy and asked, "Whatever happened with that dead donkey?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 500 hundred tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."
"Didn't anyone complain?"
"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
12. The Hook
A teenage boy drove his date to a dark and deserted Lovers' Lane for a make-out session. After turning on the radio for mood music, he leaned over and began kissing the girl.
A short while later, the music suddenly stopped and an announcer's voice came on, warning in an urgent tone that a convicted murderer had just escaped from the state insane asylum — which happened to be located not far from Lovers' Lane — and that anyone who noticed a strange man lurking about with a hook in place of his right hand should immediately report his whereabouts to the police.
The girl became frightened and asked to be taken home. The boy, feeling bold, locked all the doors instead and, assuring his date they would be safe, attempted to kiss her again. She became frantic and pushed him away, insisting that they leave. Relenting, the boy peevishly jerked the car into gear and spun its wheels as he pulled out of the parking space.
When they arrived at the girl's house she got out of the car, and, reaching to close the door, began to scream uncontrollably. The boy ran to her side to see what was wrong and there, dangling from the door handle, was a bloody hook.
13. When a Stranger Calls
A married couple were going out for the evening and called in a teenage babysitter to take care of their three children. When she arrived they told her they probably wouldn't be back until late, and that the kids were already asleep so she needn't disturb them.
The babysitter starts doing her homework while awaiting a call from her boyfriend. After awhile the phone rings. She answers it, but hears no one on the other end — just silence, then whoever it is hangs up. After a few more minutes the phone rings again. She answers, and this time there's a man on the line who says, in a chilling voice, "Have you checked the children?"
Click.
At first she thinks it might have been the father calling to check up and he got interrupted, so she decides to ignore it. She goes back to her homework, then the phone rings again. "Have you checked the children?" says the creepy voice on the other end.
"Mr. Murphy?" she asks, but the caller hangs up again.
She decides to phone the restaurant where the parents said they'd be dining, but when she asks for Mr. Murphy she is told that he and his wife had left the restaurant 45 minutes earlier. So she calls the police and reports that a stranger has been calling her and hanging up. "Has he threatened you?" the dispatcher asks. No, she says. "Well, there's nothing we can really do about it. You could try reporting the prank caller to the phone company."
A few minutes go by and she gets another call. "Why haven't you checked the children?" the voice says.
"Who is this?" she asks, but he hangs up again. She dials 911 again and says, "I'm scared. I know he's out there, he's watching me."
"Have you seen him?" the dispatcher asks. She says no. "Well, there isn't much we can do about it," the dispatcher says. The babysitter goes into panic mode and pleads with him to help her. "Now, now, it'll be okay," he says. "Give me your number and street address, and if you can keep this guy on the phone for at least a minute we'll try to trace the call. What was your name again?"
"Linda."
"Okay, Linda, if he calls back we'll do our best to trace the call, but just keep calm. Can you do that for me?"
"Yes," she says, and hangs up. She decides to turn the lights down so she can see if anyone's outside, and that's when she gets another call.
"It's me," the familiar voice says. "Why did you turn the lights down?"
"Can you see me?" she asks, panicking.
"Yes," he says after a long pause.
"Look, you've scared me," she says. "I'm shaking. Are you happy? Is that what you wanted?"
"No."
"Then what do you want?" she asks.
Another long pause. "Your blood. All over me."
She slams the phone down, terrified. Almost immediately it rings again. "Leave me alone!" she screams, but it's the dispatcher calling back. His voice is urgent.
"Linda, we've traced that call. It's coming from another room inside the house. Get out of there! Now!"
She tears to the front door, attempting to unlock it and dash outside, only to find the chain at the top still latched. In the time it takes her to unhook it she sees a door open at the top of the stairs. Light streams from the children's bedroom, revealing the profile of a man standing just inside.
She finally gets the door open and bursts outside, only to find a cop standing on the doorstep with his gun drawn. At this point she's safe, of course, but when they capture the intruder and drag him downstairs in handcuffs, she sees he is covered in blood. Come to find out, all three children have all been murdered.
14. The Licked Hand
Once there was a a beautiful young girl who lived in a small town just south of Farmersburg. Her parents had to go to town for a while, so they left their daughter home alone, but protected by her dog, which was a very large collie. The parents told the girl to lock all the windows and doors after they had left. And at about 8:00 pm the parents went to town. So doing what she was told the girl shut and locked evey window and every door. But there was one window in the basement that would not close completely.
Trying as best as she could she finally got the window shut, but it would not lock. So she left the window, and went back upstairs. But just to make sure that no one could get in, she put the dead-bolt lock on the basment door.
Then she sat down had some dinner and decided to go to sleep for the night. Settling down to sleep at about 12:00 she snuggled up with the dog and fell asleep.
But at one point, she suddenly woke up. She turned and looked at the clock. It was 2:30. She snuggled down again wondering what had woken her.....when she heard a noise. It was a dripping sound. She thought that she had left the water running, and now it was dripping into the drain of her sink. So thinking it was no big deal she decided to go back to sleep.
But she felt nervous so she reached her hand over the edge of her bed, and let the dog lick her hand for reasurance that he would protect her. Again at about 3:45 she woke up hearing drippping. She was slightly angry now but went back to sleep anyway. Again she reached down and let the dog lick her hand. Then she fell back to sleep.
At 6:52 the girl decided that she had had enough. She got up just in time to see her parents were pulling up to the house. "Good,"she thought, "Now somebody can fix the sink because I know I didn't leave it running." She walked to the bathroom and there was the collie dog, skinned and hung up on the curtain rod. The noise she heard was its blood dripping into a puddle on the floor. The girl screamed and ran to her bedroom to get a weapon, incase someone was still in the house.....and there on the floor, next to her bed she saw a small note, written in blood, saying: HUMANS CAN LICK TOO MY BEAUTIFUL.
15. Always Check the Backseat
One night a woman went out for drinks with her girlfriends. She left the bar fairly late at night, got in her car and onto the deserted highway. After a few minutes she noticed a lone pair of headlights in her rear-view mirror, approaching at a pace just slightly quicker than hers. As the car pulled up behind her she glanced and saw the turn signal on — the car was going to pass — when suddenly it swerved back behind her, pulled up dangerously close to her tailgate and the brights flashed.
Now she was getting nervous. The lights dimmed for a moment and then the brights came back on and the car behind her surged forward. The frightened woman struggled to keep her eyes on the road and fought the urge to look at the car behind her. Finally, her exit approached but the car continued to follow, flashing the brights periodically.
Through every stoplight and turn, it followed her until she pulled into her driveway. She figured her only hope was to make a mad dash into the house and call the police. As she flew from the car, so did the driver of the car behind her — and he screamed, "Lock the door and call the police! Call 911!"
When the police arrived the horrible truth was finally revealed to the woman. The man in the car had been trying to save her. As he pulled up behind her and his headlights illuminated her car, he saw the silhouette of a man with a butcher knife rising up from the back seat to stab her, so he flashed his brights and the figure crouched back down.
16. The Clown Statue
A girl in her teens, is babysitting for a family in Newport Beach, California. The family is wealthy and has a very large house — you know the sort, with a ridiculous amount of rooms. Anyways, the parents are going out for a late dinner/movie. The father tells the babysitter that once the children are in bed she should go into this specific room (he doesn't really want her wandering around the house) and watch TV there.
The parents take off and soon she gets the kids into bed and goes to the room to watch TV. She tries watching TV, but she is disturbed by a clown statue in the corner of the room. She tries to ignore it for as long as possible, but it starts freaking her out so much that she can't handle it.
She resorts to calling the father and asks, "Hey, the kids are in bed, but is it okay if I switch rooms? This clown statue is really creeping me out."
The father says seriously, "Get the kids, go next door and call 911."
She asks, "What's going on?"
He responds, "Just go next door and once you call the police, call me back."
She gets the kids, goes next door, and calls the police. When the police are on the way, she calls the father back and asks, "So, really, what's going on?"
He responds, "We don't have a clown statue." He then further explains that the children have been complaining about a clown watching them as they sleep. He and his wife had just blown it off, assuming that they were having nightmares.
17. Bride-and-Seek
Back in 1975 a young couple, both 18, decided to get married right after high school. The father of the bride lived in Palm Beach in a mansion and was able to afford a big wedding for them. To make a long story short, they got married and the wedding was beautiful.
After the wedding they had a big reception in an old building and everyone got pretty drunk. When there were only about 20 people left, the groom decided that they should play hide-and-seek. Everyone agreed and the groom was "it." They all went and hid and the game went on.
After about 20 minutes everyone had been found except the bride. Everyone looked everywhere and tore the whole place apart looking for her. After a few hours the groom was furious, thinking the bride was playing a terrible trick. Eventually, everyone went home.
A few weeks later the groom, having placed a missing persons report, gave up looking for her. Heartbroken, he tried to go on with his life.
Three years later a little old woman was cleaning the place up. She happened to be in the attic and saw an old trunk. She dusted it off, and, out of curiosity, opened it. She screamed at the top of her lungs, ran out of the building and called the police.
Apparently, the bride had decided to hide in the trunk for the game of hide-and-seek. When she sat down, the lid fell, knocking her unconscious and locking her inside. She suffocated after a day or so. When the woman found her, she was rotting, her mouth in the shape of a scream.
18. The Blind Man's Favor
In Berlin, after World War II, money was short, supplies were tight, and it seemed like everyone was hungry. At that time, people were telling the tale of a young woman who saw a blind man picking his way through a crowd. The two started to talk. The man asked her for a favor: Could she deliver the letter to the address on the envelope? It was on her way home, so she agreed.
She started out to deliver the message, when she turned around to see if there was anything else the blind man needed. But she spotted him hurrying through the crowd without his smoked glasses or white cane.
She went to the police, who visited the address on the envelope. It turned out that it was a butcher shop ran by a kind elderly couple. At first everything went fine and nothing seemed suspicious.
But after asking to check a certain refrigerator in the back of the shop, the couple acted like they were keeping something. When they finally opened it, what they found was absolutely shocking. Heaps of human flesh and body parts were stored inside. The couple was arrested and although the "blind" man remained unfound.
And what was in the envelope? A single sentence saying: "This is the last one I am sending you today."